I sat down recently with Carrie from the Thriving Matters podcast. The conversation moved through a few different spaces, with one common theme. We called the episode ‘Breathe and Be-ing’, and by the end of it, that title felt like the whole point.
You can listen to the full episode here. Breathe and Being on Apple.
The Conversation That Wanted to Be Had
Carrie asked me about leadership. About teams. About what happens when people come out to the land and meet the herd. We talked about all of that, and I have written about much of it in other places. But the part that kept rising to the surface was something simpler and, for many, in some ways, harder.
Breath. Pause. BE.
Three small things. Three things most of us forget while we are doing everything else.
Why the Breath Comes First
When something happens around the horses and I need to respond, the first thing I do is breathe. By the time I reach the place I am walking towards, my brain is online. I am calm. I can make a clear decision instead of a reactive one.
A long, slow out-breath invites the parasympathetic branch of the nervous system to come forward. The rest-and-digest side. The part of you that knows you are safe.
This is the most simple, most available tool any of us have, and we walk past it a hundred times a day.
I do not tell clients this because it sounds clever. I tell them because the horses ask it of every person who steps into their space. A calm, grounded, regulated person is safe. That is the whole safety talk. There is nothing else to add.
The Power of the Pause
A few days before we recorded, I was holding space for a practitioner who was working with a member of my herd. The horse was carrying something deep. After a round of energy work, the horse offered very clear body language. They needed a moment. They needed to process.
The practitioner asked, after about a minute, if she should go again.
I said no. The horse is not ready.
We paused for close to ten more minutes. When the horse was ready, the space knew it. The practitioner turned to me and said, thank you for reminding me of that. I had been told the power of the pause before, but that really helped me remember.
I think most of us could use that reminder. Often.
If you pause before you answer, before you act, before you decide, the outcome is almost always better. There are very few moments in a life where pausing makes things worse. Most of the time, it is the pause that lets your wisdom catch up with your reflex.
On Matriarchs and Quiet Leadership
Carrie asked about the matriarch piece of my work. Herds of horses are led by a matriarch, usually an older female, who passively guides the herd. Where she goes, they follow.
The clearest matriarch I ever knew was a small pony who lived with me for many years. She passed at thirty-one. She was tiny next to the big horses, and her leadership was silent. If she walked to the dam, the herd followed. If she did something, the rest moved with her. There was no force in it. No noise. No display.
That is leadership at its best. Felt, not announced.
I think about her often. About what it means to lead from presence rather than pressure. About how much trust it takes to lead that quietly, and how much safety it creates for everyone in your circle when you do.
Healing Lives in the Feeling
We talked about trauma in the way I usually talk about it. Gently. Not as a diagnosis. As a survival response that made sense at the time.
The energy of any emotion takes a form. It rises, it peaks, it dissipates. When we are small, that energy often gets interrupted. Someone tells us our feeling is too much. The environment is not safe enough to let it move. So the energy stays in the body, looking for a way to complete itself.
That is why the same patterns return. The same kind of relationship. The same defensive moment in the boardroom. The body is asking for the original feeling to finish what it started.
Healing is in the feeling. That is the work. Not thinking your way out, not bypassing, not pushing through. Letting the body do what it was always trying to do.
This is why we work with the horses, the land, the breath, and the pace. The cognitive brain cannot do this work. It needs to follow the body.
Human Beings, Not Human Doings
Carrie and I landed on something I see in almost every woman who walks through the front gate. And not only women. We are very good at doing. We have to-do lists. We measure ourselves by the weight of them. Somewhere along the way, busy became a badge.
Our culture does not encourage us to fill our own cup. Most of the women who come to me arrive carrying guilt about wanting time for themselves. They have been pouring out for a long time. They have very little left.
The work is not just a gym session or a green juice or four litres of water. It is mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual. All of it. Replenished regularly. Held with the same care you would offer someone you loved.
Mind, body, and soul.
That is what the land here is for. That is what the horses are for. That is why I keep the pace slow.
What I Took From the Conversation
I noticed after the recording I was breathing more deeply. I always do, when in session, when teaching. That is the gift of a good podcast conversation or discussion. It puts you back in your own truth.
If any of this resonates with where you are right now, you are welcome here. You do not need to arrive ready. You do not need to know what you are looking for. The horses, the land, and the work will meet you where you are.
Come and breathe. Come and pause. Come and be.
That is where the gold is.
Listen to the Episode
You can find the full conversation with Carrie on the Thriving Matters podcast here. Breathe and Being on Apple.
If you would like to learn more about coming to the land, you can explore retreats and sessions, or get in touch directly. There is space for you here.
