If you have typed “grief retreat” into a search bar recently, you were probably not researching. You were looking for somewhere to go.
Somewhere you won’t need to hold it together.
Somewhere you won’t have to explain yourself, or arrive with your loss tidied into a sentence short enough to say out loud.
We believe the right people are attracted to Highlands Centre For Healing at a time that it will serve them best.
We offer a personalised grief retreat
We deliberately give you the opportunity to select the activities that will best support you.
For some, this is next to none.
For others, it may be many.
Whichever suits you, we will ensure you have lots of down time in between activities. Time for you to be with whatever it is you need to be with.
As you’ll know, grief does not work to a set time frame. It arrives in waves, eases, and comes back at odd hours when you thought you were through the worst of it. Booking a date three months out and hoping your body will be in the right place for it is a lot to ask of someone who is already carrying a great deal.
We do our very best to accommodate you when you need us.
Based on our experiences, most people don’t understand grief. They don’t understand it is messy, random, disorganised, chaotic.
Grief is not something to be worked through and completed.
Grief is not a fault to be corrected.
Nothing about you needs fixing because someone or something you love has died or come to an end.
What most people need is somewhere to pause, and someone unbothered by how long that takes.
So what we offer is for one, or a few people, depending on what y0u choose.
There are four ways people come to us with grief, and they suit different people at different moments.
Circle of Comfort: company with others who understand what you are going through
Soo runs Circle of Comfort fortnightly on Wednesdays, 10:30am to midday, at The Stables here in Moss Vale.
It costs $33 a person, or $56 for two.
We start with a cuppa. Soo brings subject matter to each gathering. She is guided intuitively. Sometimes it’s a poem, at others music. Or a reading from a book, grief cards to support your loss(es).
There is gentle ground-based time with the horses afterwards if that feels right, and no obligation at all if it does not. Nobody will ask you to describe your loss to a room. You can come and say very little, or nothing at all.
What people tend to find is that being in a spae with others who understand does something that advice cannot. You stop translating. You stop managing other people’s discomfort about your grief. And you start to be able to be present to your own.
You can find the next Circle of Comfort session on the events calendar. If no date is showing, please get in touch and Soo will let you know when the next circle is running.
Design Your Own Retreat: staying longer, on 106 acres
For some people, two hours is not enough for what they need. They need to leave their daily life, properly, for a few days.
That is what a Design Your Own Retreat is. These are built for individuals, not groups. You stay on the property at The Stables or Gang Gang Hideaway, and the days are shaped around you. Stays include full access to the land, and, if you want it to, you can include daily sessions with the horses, somatic practices, or other wellbeing practices.
Experiences are put together with you rather than sold as a package, because what one person needs after a loss is not what the next person needs. Some people want a rhythm to hold on to. Some want to sleep, walk, and be left alone by everyone.
The difference a few nights makes is not something we can tell you. It is about how long it takes most of us to stop performing being fine. You can read more about wellness retreat accommodation in the Southern Highlands, or about how nature-based wellness retreats in NSW work here.
People who have joined us for their own grief retreat arrive frazzled, confused, jumbled up and often very teary. After two or three days, a couple of sessions with Soo and the herd (we recommend grief counselling & Somatic Equine Therapy for starters), they leave dry eyed, feeling calmer, more in control. And with a lot more understanding of what they are going through. The most common thing people need to hear is that whatever their experience, it is normal.
One to one, with the herd
Grief is one of the things people bring to somatic equine therapy sessions here. The work is ground-based, which means we work alongside the horses rather than on horseback, and it moves at your pace with choice at every moment.
Horses do not need you to explain. They react and respond to the energy of our thoughts, words and feelings, which means they meet what is actually happening in your body, not the version of yourself you have been presenting to everyone since the funeral. Sometimes one of the herd will simply walk over and stand beside someone who is carrying something enormous, and stay there.
This is the part people struggle to describe afterwards. Your body knows what it is holding long before you have found words for it, and for an hour or so the wisdom of your body gets to lead instead of your capable, coping mind.
If what you want is to understand death itself
This is a different need.
Sometimes people search for a grief retreat when what they actually want is not support with their sorrow, but information. The practical, human questions about dying and after-death care that most of us were never taught or given a language for.
We are hosting two one-off sessions with Angela Mizinska, a Death Doula and Death Literacy Educator. Neither is grief counselling, therapy, or a support group.
You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know is an interactive presentation and discussion on death, dying, end of life and after-death care, on Saturday 31 October, 10am to 12:30pm, $115 per person.
Dying to Talk is a relaxed Death Cafe style conversation, on Saturday 5 December, 10am to 12:30pm, $115 per person.
Both are for ages 18 and over, both include a take-home resource pack, and both finish with time among the horses. The information given is general and educational, and is not medical, legal or financial advice.
What it is like to arrive here
The property is called Eureka Pines. It sits on 674 Nowra Road in Moss Vale, on Gundungurra Country, 106 acres bordering State Forest.
The drive up matters more than people expect. As you enter the property, you’ll drive slowly past ancient trees who acknowledge you. Wind your window down to smell the fragrant air. Then paddocks open out, and most of the noise you arrived with has already started to quieten.
There is no reception desk. Nobody hands you a schedule. The horses are usually somewhere in the middle distance, doing what they were doing before you got here, which is oddly steadying.
You will have been given arrival directions before this and if Soo is not present to welcome you, you’ll be clear on where to go.
Humans evolved in nature, and it is still where our nervous systems settle most easily. You may notice your breathing change before you have consciously decided to relax. That is not a technique anyone is doing to you. It is what a quiet, unhurried place does to a body that has been braced for weeks.
You will not be asked to do anything you are not ready for. You will not be told what stage you are in, or handed a framework for your loss. If you would like to understand more about why we work this way, Soo has written about why we don’t know how to do death.
Which experience feels right for you?
If you would like company, regularly and close to home, Circle of Comfort is probably the gentlest way in.
If you need to leave for a few days, a Design Your Own Retreat gives you the time and the quiet without a programme running alongside it. You can also choose from our pre-planned options.
If you would rather not be in a group at all, a one to one session with the herd is a legitimate choice, not avoidance.
And if what you actually want is to understand death rather than to be held through a loss, one of Angela’s sessions will serve you far better than any of the above.
If none of that lands, that is worth saying out loud too. Get in touch and we can work it out together. Not knowing what you need is one of the most ordinary parts of grief, and it is not something you have to solve before you arrive.
If today is heavy
If you are struggling right now and do not want to wait for a date on a calendar, please reach out to someone today.
Griefline is a free national grief support service on 1300 845 745, weekdays 10:00am to 8:00pm AEST/AEDT.
Lifeline is available 24 hours a day on 13 11 14.
If you are worried about your physical or mental health, please speak with your GP.
Frequently asked questions
Do you run grief retreats in NSW?
Not as a packaged programme with set dates. We offer a fortnightly grief circle, individually arranged multi-day stays on the property, and one to one sessions with the horses. People come to us for all three from across the Southern Highlands, Sydney, Canberra and the Illawarra.
How much does a grief retreat cost here?
Circle of Comfort is $33 per person, or $56 for two. Multi-day stays are put together individually, so the cost depends on length and what you would like included. Please get in touch and we will talk it through.
Is this grief counselling?
Circle of Comfort is a grief support group held by Soo, who is a registered, qualified counsellor and a trauma-trained somatic practitioner. The death literacy sessions with Angela Mizinska are explicitly not counselling, therapy or a support group. If what you want is clinical bereavement counselling in a consulting room, your GP can refer you, and Griefline can point you towards services in your area.
Do I have to be around the horses?
No. Time with the herd is always offered, never required. Some people sit with a cup of tea and watch them from a distance for the first few visits, and that is completely fine.
How soon after a death should I come?
There is no correct point. Some people come within a fortnight, some come three years later when something unexpectedly surfaces. Both are normal. Grief does not run to a schedule, and neither do we.
Where exactly are you?
Eureka Pines, 674 Nowra Road, Moss Vale NSW 2577, in the NSW Southern Highlands. Roughly two hours from Sydney and two hours from Canberra.
